Chronicles of a Break: How it Went (Part II)
A couple of months ago, I did a post on taking a break and the triggers behind it. The post spoke of it not being an easy decision but 90 days down the lane, I can surely say that living through it was one of the easiest. :D.
I had the most mundane of days which included waking up, having my breakfast, my shower and then just reading a book. Taking that afternoon nap, an evening walk with a friend, some bedtime television and sleep. I don’t think I can articulate it well enough in words what this mundane-ness and ordinary-ness did for my mental health. Life felt wholesome!
My sleep got better, I slept longer and deeper.
My breathing improved visibly — I always had shorter breath while at work as I was anxious all the time about something or the other, rushing to meet my endless list of to-dos. My health markers improved in the absence of this artificial work stress.
I had longer outings with friends — deeper conversations, longer walks, more phone calls, more text messages being exchanged.
Yes, there were pangs about missing work and a routine and something to call my own but there was a certain release in surrendering to being a nobody. I connected with people who had taken similar decisions and understood a bit more closely as to where they were on their personal journeys . Listening to varied experiences gives you so much perspective on how trivial we are in the scheme of this universe!
I read to my heart’s content. I fell in love with books again and how they can make us travel places right from our couch. I soaked in the sun relishing the Delhi winters!
I wrote poems. 21 of them and participated in a poetry contest! It was a process that consumed me but catered to my spontaneity of committing to something and sticking to it — of building a habit. I took courses on stuff I wanted to learn — I watched TED Talks and heard podcasts on topics I was just curious about. Days felt slow but felt good. Being unproductive felt good, being lazy felt good.
And slowly I felt refreshed, refreshed enough to start thinking about going back to work. I still gave that decision another one month. I listed down reasons as to why I would want to return — I got the rest I wanted from the burnout, I got the chance to focus on my health with a nutritionist, I got a chance to spend time doing things I loved. Also, a career pivot was not on my mind yet and exploring newer career paths wasn’t exactly the thing I had taken a break for, hence I felt ready now to go back to one of my strengths — my core profession.
So what learnings do I go back with? Most of what I write below have been musings for a long time but when I spent a lot of time with them during the break, they got cemented as core beliefs (hopefully!).
That a job is just a job and I do not need to fall in the trap of being emotionally attached to it again. A job is not my identity (not the only one at least). There are so many other things that contribute to my happiness and mental wellbeing — that I need to now continue to nourish — things that got sidelined in the past. That I need not let one facet of my life overpower my emotions and mood when the other 99 things are blissful.
That laziness, being unproductive, doing nothing are great things too and deserve space on our schedules
That sleeping well is underrated. I have never woken up fresher in recent times than when I was on this break. When you don’t have to get up to rush to get to somewhere — the body celebrates it!
That I will put myself first in all decisions. Put myself ahead. Put myself in the centre. Because when I do that, I safeguard my happiness. When I am happy, I radiate happiness for others around me as well. For people who love and care for us. And that in turn makes us even more happy.
That the money you imagine you need is more than what you actually need. All it requires is a bit of financial planning — a skill we anyway must continuously work upon.
That life is not a race — a few years of slow movement does not mean I cannot sprint later. As they say, the only competition is with oneself and to be a better person, is the only goal.
That I will take more such breaks in the future whenever I feel the need to pause — that I will not hesitate to ask.
That others should also take the plunge, if they have been thinking about this — a break is best experienced personally :-)
Until next time, take care of yourself!
If you liked this piece, please do not forget to spread the cheer by applauding. Every praise motivates :-) Also look forward to reading your experiences when you took a similar plunge!
